I’m ashamed to admit this:
I feel as though I let God down by not teaching my class tonight and I love my Missionettes class! And for some reason, I’ve become so disenchanted with the whole process. To be honest, I know what the reason is. A few weeks ago, I had the honor of delivering an “invitation” message, at a Mother’s Day Tea. As I was sharing part of my testimony, a fellow member raised her voice and was very angry at the fact that I was saying, “it’s not about praying to Mary, it’s about Jesus.”
Yes, immediately the Holy Spirit reminded me of the verse in Ephesians chapter 6, “…for we wrestle not against flesh and blood…”; yet it did quite a number on me. My spirit felt so defeated and I couldn’t shake it and there are still lingering affects.
So, why the disenchantment? There’s a pattern of “works”. Parents, and by that I mean mothers, more interested in how many badges their daughters are receiving, but not caring about THE WORD that is being placed in them. It’s a mentality of, “as long as I’m doing church, I’m OK.” And that’s so wrong, at least I feel it is.
When I first started with the group, in August, I remember agonizing over saying yes or not. I clearly remember hearing the Lord tell me, “Take care of MY BUSINESS, I’LL take care of your business.” And that’s why I feel I’ve let HIM down, by not showing up tonight. And I’ve felt this way for the past few weeks because that fire for the class is gone. Although, my love for the girls is very strong.
A few moments before I started to type this out, I was reminded of these verses:
…and let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. {Galatians 6:9}
…therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. {1Corintians 15:45}
No ministry comes easily, and the anointing for it comes with a price. The enemy doesn’t want the Kingdom of God to expand. And he comes after intercessors with equal amounts of force. I’ve been lead to teach this class as I taught my own children:
JESUS-period!
And the other basics, such as, loving one another, kindness, praying for one another, etc.
I’ve heard it said that I’m a “front liner”. And in battle, they’re the first ones to get hit.
While writing this, the thought occurred to me that it’s the enemy who has been trying to make me think that I’ve let the Lord down because “he knows his days are numbered.”
Therefore, the question remains, do I still want it?
Yes! Wholeheartedly yes!
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