Reflecting and Rambling

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“Let your conversation (life), be without covetousness; & be content with such things as you have; for He hath said,

I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

So that we may BOLDLY say, the Lord is my HELPER, & I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” ~Hebrews 13:5-6

Today, for my personal study time, I was lead to study the book of Hebrews, chapter 11 – the Faith chapter.  And considering everything that is going on in my marriage and family life right now, I welcomed the refresher.

However, this was the first time that I went further, without hearing it in a sermon.  And I read chapters 11 – 12.  And I was about to read chapter 13 when I received word of Nelson Mandelas’s passing. 

Heavyhearted, I made a few posts here, and on a couple other social networks I’m on.  Realizing that I interrupted my own study time, I quickly went back to it.  I began reading the 13th chapter of Hebrews.  When my fell upon these 2 verses I quoted at the top of this post, my mind went immediately to Mr. Mandela and his life, and what he had gone through.  Being imprisoned for nearly 30 years, and enduring family problems, etc.  But yet he remained focused on his mission.  Being materialistic seemed to be the farthest thing to him.  And he seemed to live his life in such a way that didn’t allow his integrity and purpose to be tainted.

Were there things he coveted? Maybe, who knows; but for some reason I don’t think so. 

Reflecting on a man I never knew, and reflecting on the verses I had just read, I began to think of my own life.  My marriage, that seems to be headed toward “a thing of the past”, to other family issues, and even self image issues, which I’ve dealt with since I was a kid.

“Covetousness”, kept circling in my mind.  Yes, I had to admit that I had allowed a covetous nature to take root in me.  Wanting a marriage that I see some have (wanting to be loved for who I am to be more accurate-being separated sucks; but I’m not ready to talk about all that yet.), and wanting a shape that I don’t have.

“Be content with all that you have”, began circling next.  Not having a particular way of life isn’t a big deal to me, so I’m content with that.  However, the marriage and self image issues are/were a different story.  But in my spirit, I knew that I had to lay ALL of the issues, and their reasons, at the foot of the Cross, and allow the Lord to deal with them.  And allow HIM to be EVERYTHING that I need, and to allow myself to realize that I’m complete and “all that” because of who HE IS, and who HE says I am.

I don’t need to worry about what my husband, or soon-to-be-ex says or has said about me, to me, or against me. 

I’m not sure why I’m rambling about all this, except to say that I’m, probably, not alone in these particular circumstances.

How amazing it is that a few words could make me reflect on so much, and bring me to a new place in my spirit!

Let these words I quoted bring you comfort and peace in your circumstances too.  If you need prayer or just want to vent, click the tab “don’t carry it alone.”

Don’t forget that you are so special, beautiful and lovable.  That’s who and what Our Father says about us. 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Reflecting and Rambling

  1. No, you’re not alone–and I’d never before thought of it as coveting, but for a long time, I too coveted a happy marriage. Not now though, PTL. God bless you BIG, Sis–love, sis Caddo

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