Nervous Obedience

I felt like my words were inadequate and felt like a blithering idiot.  However, I know that the Lord hears our hearts and not the fanciness of our words.  (Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this blog.) 🙂  And I was so nervous. But in the back of my mind I knew it was the Lord prompting for use.  There was no need to focus on myself.  Yes, nervousness even equals focusing on myself.  “Is this really You Lord, or is it me?” Really?! The enemy wouldn’t prompt me to pray for someone.  C’mon now!


Today, because of being more concerned with how I would be received, I didn’t initially obey an unction to pray for a sweet pregnant young lady and her unborn baby.  I kept allowing myself to be distracted by the thought of upsetting her, or upsetting the people she was with.   I waited and almost missed the open door to be used.  She later told me that she “needed it.”

What if I hadn’t obeyed?  What if I just let her walk away because of selfish nervousness?  Most likely I would have been kicking myself in the butt later if I had let the opportunity slip by.   She also told me that she is a believer.  I mentioned to her that for an hour, I was sensing a prompting to pray for her.  Not wanting to sound like I was super-spiritual, I down-played it and I heard myself say,”I don’t know if it was the Lord telling me to do this, but…”  And she interrupted me by saying, “It was. You know it was.”  I don’t know if she has strayed away from the Lord.  I don’t know if I caused trouble between her and the company she was with.  I don’t know her story.  I don’t need to know her story.  God knows her story.

“This baby has changed my life,” she told me.  Her face lit up when she mentioned that she’s having a boy.  I will not forget this young lady from Tennessee-new to So. Cal., only been here for the past 9 months and will be giving birth to a her 3rd child this September-nor, will I forget the lesson in obeying and not second guessing what the Holy Spirit has placed in my spirit to do, to stop second guessing myself, and to remember that I do know my Sheppard’s voice.

Of course the Lord knows about my flaws and faults.  It’s not a shock to Him.  Yet He chooses and uses this vessels anyway-flaws and all-to love other vessels through.  Everyone is an important vessel in His eyes.


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